Papa Smurf. Eiffel 65. Chris Wink (founder of the Blue Man Group for the uninitiated). These are many of the names a local musical legend was subjected to, but Los Santos’ favourite blue man Kash Mooney didn’t let these sly digs slow him down. The blue-donning music industry legend became a household name over these last 6 months with hits such as ‘PD’ and ‘No More Mr Nice’. Unfortunately, our beloved Burger Shot endorsing hero was painfully taken from us last month after disappearing without a trace.
The LSPD was quiet surrounding the missing person’s case filed for Kash Mooney (pronounced Cash Money) and were “unable” to comment for some time. It was not until weeks later that the rumours of Kash’s demise were confirmed to be true.
Last week, Weazel News Presents Dickfeed sat down with close friend of Kash, Winter Addams, who expressed deep concern for the mystery surrounding Mooney’s death, or should we say… murder? (For legal reasons, Weazel News Presents Dickfeed cannot confirm whether or not Mr Mooney was murdered at this time…)
Addams criticised the response from the LSPD regarding Mooney’s untimely death, outlining Chief Don Chester as the prime offender. With lyrics such as “Yo PD, why you always fuck with me? You always have it out for me”, it begs the question of whether or not the bullet wounds found in Mooney’s chest were shot by someone who “always [had] it out for [Mooney]”… something to keep in mind. However, the sister of former Mayor Oleander Addams expressed more concern towards the culprit behind rap star Kash Mooney’s POTENTIAL murder. In our interview, the main suspect behind her speculation was former UWU Cat Cafe employee Timothy Rose (formerly Beasley), the adopted son of Mel Rose. Timothy was formerly Mooney’s manager, demanding he dress and act in accordance to his wishes which Mooney heavily disagreed with. A launch night was hosted by Rose to celebrate Mooney’s new recording contract, held at a local mansion. At this party, Addams recalls that Kash claimed he was “not going to be a pawn in [Timothy’s] game anymore”, changing back into his iconic blue tracksuit which was reportedly “very embarrassing for [Rose]”. Despite this, Rose and Mooney were not seen together much following the dispute and the shooting of Kash Mooney occurred some months later. However, that does not completely rule Rose out from the suspect list.
Addams questions whether or not Mooney may’ve owed someone money as he was trying to fund the recording and production of his new album, one which we will unfortunately never hear, however my CO-WORKER George Sinclair (who is of equal status within Weazel News) claimed Mooney had “billions” of fans, implying that he would not need to borrow money for the album. This reporter questions the use of “billions”, however, Kash will certainly be remembered by millions (with an m).
Weazel News Presents Dickfeed and Winter Addams request that should anyone have any information, no matter how big or small, regarding Kash Mooney’s death, come forward by contacting Dick Richards of Weazel News Presents Dickfeed or Addams herself. For now, we hope this article sparks conversation throughout Los Santos. Where should we point the finger? Do we let the LSPD off too easily for their poor handling of such sensitive situations? But most importantly… how will we go on in a world without Kash Mooney?
Dick Richards for Weazel News Presents Dickfeed
