Citizens of Los Santos,
As a strong and proud man, it gives me little pleasure to speak to you through another written statement. It brings me even less joy to write this from a hospital bed, in a compromised state. I would like to begin by apologising for my absence from office, and particularly for the sudden nature of it – as certain vultures were quick to try and capitalise on. Please, let me explain:
A few weeks ago, I was enjoying a late evening drive northwards, through the winding country roads of this great state. As the majority of the citizens will have seen, I’m rather fond of my vehicular pursuits, and a drive through the woods and up to Sandy Shores is one of the simplest pleasures I can think of. Whilst driving, however, I noticed an overturned car at the side of the road, just south of Sandy Shores, and pulled into a nearby car park to investigate. As I approached on foot, I heard some noise and moved myself behind a fence, in case of unsavoury characters.
Little did I know just how sour things were about to turn.
Within seconds, the fence in front of me was ploughed into and knocked over. In the glare of the headlights, it took me a second to ascertain the driver and passenger of the vehicle’s identities, but they were faces I recognised well. In the driver’s seat, my one time mayoral rival and convicted criminal George Sinclair. In his passenger seat, disgraced journalist and alleged drug runner Jay Walker.
Of course, I did not have long to take this scene in, as within 10 seconds Mr Sinclair had exited the vehicle and tazed me.
My memory is hazy, admittedly, but when I picked myself up to my feet they were gone. On inspection, the overturned vehicle was in fact Jay Walker’s personal car, and in possible a drug fuelled frenzy he had crashed the vehicle. I called the police, both to report the overturned car and the attempt on my life, and when an LSPD officer arrived to speak with me Mr Sinclair’s car sped past. From there, I allowed the law to pursue the 2 criminals and retired for the evening, briefly stopping by Mission Row PD in case a statement was needed.
The next day, my chest hurt. Due to an emergency, I had to return to my home city to see to the funeral of a dearly departed family member, and on the plane over I took very unwell. As it transpired, Mr Sinclair’s tazer fire triggered a previously undiagnosed heart condition. His attack could have killed me, if not for timely healthcare. And so, a surgery and many angiograms later, I am in a hospital bed finally able to work as well as I can from a laptop on NHS wifi.
It pained me, as much as my recent cardiac episode, to see that the news is filled with sensationalism on “Where Is Mayor Patterson.”. I have accepted critique of my character with grace over the years, and understand that a position of public service will come with a certain degree of scrutiny. However, Oleander Addams taking advantage of her close personal friend’s criminal assault on me, with a weapon, goes beyond the pale. It is not the hack journalism of a man stalking a business owner, nor is it the shambles of a man trying to goad a public servant into punching him on a golf course. It is insider trading, trading on my life. It is protecting criminals and allowing them to attack a serving mayor.
It has been brought to my attention that no charges have been brought against Mr Sinclair or Mr Walker by LSPD. In my absence, Oleander Addams and her cabal of journalists have exploited elements of the police department that are happier to let things go than to serve this city.
As you read this, I will be in the air. Returning to solve this problem. As much as a few rogue journalists with gun licenses and cops bored of the job might not want to remember it – I am still the Mayor of Los Santos.
And I thank you all for the continued opportunity to serve. Policies mentioned in the last statement are, currently, with lawmakers as we slowly wait for them to be enacted. I share your frustration, but our plans move forward – and I hope to speak to you all at surgery soon.
God Bless Los Santos
